Most writers know what it is like to be blocked. For me, it’s less about sitting down to write and being unable to than avoiding the writing altogether and making up fantastical chores or tasks to keep me from BITCHOK. (Butt in chair, hands on keyboard.)
I do have to admit that I am absolutely a top-notch avoider. Like, seriously, it’s my super power. How many people do you know that would rather run thousands of miles and train for the Hood To Coast relay to avoid their muse? How many people do you know will spend thousands of dollars on a university education to keep from actually writing the thing? Not that my degree in English Lit and Creative Writing is completely useless. I have totally deepened my knowledge of my craft… to avoid plying my craft. Ha!
My block is a general writing malaise. oh, I had spurts of creativity the last few years…enough to limp a manuscript to my agent which got absolute crickets when she took it out, and several proposals for IP’s which went nowhere, but the fire that allowed me to write five books in a year was nowhere to be seen.
So last year, in between doing bouts of homework, I dug deep and learned quite a bit about my blocks and how to address them. What I discovered was that for me, the basis of most of my procrastination techniques stemmed from fear. Some of the fears were writing based and some of them were just tendrils of that age-old fear of feeling unworthy. Some of them include:
- Not having anything new to add. (My writing isn’t original enough. The courses I want to offer won’t be deep enough or helpful enough, the services I could offer are stupid, etc.)
- That I’d never live up to my early success as a novelist
- Being seen as a failure
- Being judged
- Being seen period
- Not trusting my follow through
- Not being good enough
Can you relate?
And yeah, these are just the beginning. Once I realized how much of my writing resistance was due to fear, I went about addressing those fears with the same single-minded Capricorn/Virgo energy that I bring to everything. I excavated the mini traumas that lurked beneath the fears to soothe the hurt child underneath it all. For me, it wasn’t so much as getting rid of the blocks as it was shedding light on them, integrating them and accepting those parts of myself.
So I doubled down on the habits and techniques that helped me do that. I’ll list them here, but keep in mind that just because they’re working for me, doesn’t mean that they’ll work for you. Self acceptance is pretty unique to the individual,
- EFT Scripts: EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) This exercise combines acupressure with affirmations. Once I learned how to do it and experienced it’s usefulness, I started writing my own scripts that addressed individual blocks. For instance, I wrote one addressing intrusive thoughts about myself and my writing.
- Meditation: This is one of my go tos. It has increased my awareness of my inner chatter and helped me spot those intrusive thoughts as they arose in my mind. Awareness is deadly against my inner editor!
- I journal on the daily. It’s been crucial to seeing my patterns, as well as my growth. I love looking back at old journals to the person I was and marvel at the changes in my life and attitude.
- Movement: Since I am no longer able to run, I have gone all in on strength-training and this has been crucial for my diabetes, mood and confidence. All women should lift heavy shiz.
- Nutrition: I eat all the good things and avoid the things that I know don’t support me.
EFT tapping, meditation and journaling have directly addressed my blocks, while nutrition and movement have supported my physical healing and increased my energy levels. Energy is key to creativity.
Don’t get me wrong, the fear that I’m not good enough, that I’ll fall flat on my face or that people will ridicule my efforts, is still there, Some nights it sits on my chest, hot and heavy, grinning at me with large yellow eyes like the Cheshire Cat. Added to my general anxiety over the world at large, it’s a wonder that I can create at all. And yet, I know deep in my bones that we were born to create. That I was born to create. And that means addressing my blocks and getting to it.
More to come.
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