An open letter to the creators of all the simplify, unbusy and declutter your life memes,

F%&# off,

No Seriously. F&*% off.  Because I’m over it.

They give the impression if you just rid yourself of all your worldly goods, filled your house with flowers so you could stop and smell the roses, spent more time with good friends and looking out the window in a lovely reverie,  you would have the time to be happy. Let me clue you in…those flowers aren’t free. You either pay for them with money you earned from having a job, (which takes up time), or you grew them yourself. Growing them yourself takes up a ton of time—the beds have to be prepped, the plants planted, fertilized, weeded, watered and finally cut. Grow native plants they say, less time and better for the environment, they say. I did that one year and ended up with a backyard full of non-native BLACKBERRIES that choked out all the native plants and created a space no one could use to be UNBUSY. Pulling blackberries=TIME.

The house has to be cleaned, (which takes up time), to make way for the flowers, (which take up time), and the windows have to be washed, (which takes up time), or else all your see during your lovely reverie is fly spots, dirt and paw-prints, from the animals you rescued to be a good citizen of the world and which TAKE UP SO MUCH TIME. You can’t stare out the window if you can’t see through the window. Just saying.

That lovely concept of getting together with friends? TIME. If it’s at your house, you either have to clean the house, (because no one wants to eat tapas next to the dead snake your rescue cat brought in for the party), or your yard, because you don’t want anyone to step in doggie doo while sipping that summer-time cocktail.  (BOTH of those things take up TIME.) If it’s at someone else’s home, you have to make the decision to pick up dessert along the way, which like the flowers, take money you had to earn at a job which takes up TIME, or you make it yourself which costs less money but MORE TIME. Multiply that by the number of friends you have and you now have a schedule. A full schedule which translates into BUSY. BUSY doing the things that the unbusy yourself advocates say you will enjoy if you just weren’t so busy.

Here’s a secret-being UNBUSY is UNNATURAL. You think the cavemen weren’t busy trying to survive? I know the pioneers were plenty busy in their attempt to keep their family clothed, sheltered, fed and safe from harm. Some people in this world are busy just getting enough water to LIVE.  We’ve reached the point in our society where we’re so freaking privileged that we have people and memes telling us should be able to sit around just being happy all the time—the only people who do that are the very rich and they’re probably busy too… all those spa appointments and such.

Seriously, at some point in your life toilets must be cleaned, sheets must be washed and food must be prepared. Unless, of course, you’re still living with your mom making up memes telling people they would be happier if they weren’t so damn busy.

I hate to break it to you, but meditating, working, trying to remain physically fit, making the world a better, more humane place, following my passions, keeping myself informed, spending time with friends and family and trying to maintain my home, ALL take up time and keep me pretty damn busy. So stop trying to tell me that not being busy will make me happy. BUSY is what makes up A LIFE.

Sorry, I just saw one too many anti busy memes go by. Rant over.