Running, Writing, Life

So, I’m going to get all esoteric and shiz here on the blog. Hey, it’s my blog, I can say what I want, right?

So let’s get down to it… As some of you know, I was diagnosed with a pituitary gland tumor back in 2001 or so. Treatment included a ten hour surgery and radiation. I’m a big believer in taking away life lessons from our experiences and quite frankly, I think I forgot the lessons the universe was trying to teach me way too soon because I was hit with throat cancer two years ago this spring. This bout included two surgeries and another six weeks of radiation. Because the radiation was in my throat it affected my eating and as you know, eating affects your whole quality of life.

I got it universe. I really got it this time.

Of course the irony that I discovered the cancer at the same time that I’d just received two major publishing contracts wasn’t lost on me either. I don’t know if it was because I was ten years older or if I am just a lot more in tune to these things but the yin and yang of the situation was a real wake up call.

So now I run, lift weights and eat well.

Like writing, self-care isn’t easy. I have a million excuses why I shouldn’t run that three miles/write that 1000 words. I self-sabotage by telling myself that I will never getting any faster/any better. Basically, the doubts that splatter my writing spirit with excrement are there as I reach for health and try to live life to it’s fullest.

I used to think that someday I’d be able to rid myself of the demon of self-doubt, also known in writing circles as the evil editor, but now I know better. But I can make the demons weaker. How?

• Positive self-talk. Remember the little engine who could. I can. I will.
• Follow with action. All the positivity in the world won’t help me achieve my goals unless I take ACTION.
• Making small goals and achieving them helps me a lot. First one mile. Then two. Submit an article. Then two. Make friends in the industry. Attend a conference. Finish a book. Join a gym.
• Then up the ante with bigger goals. Run a 5k. Then a 10k. Get an agent. Publish a novella. Meet my deadlines.
• Nourish my soul. Live in the moment. Stop in the middle of the run to take a picture. Look up at the trees as the sun shines through the leaves. Reread paragraphs that sing. Think about how wonderful that food tastes. Meditate.
• I enjoy each emotion because they mean I’m alive, that I feel, but I don’t let the emotions possess me.

And every morning I tell myself that I only have one life and I need to embrace it. Every damn moment of it.  So the heck with self-doubt. Life is too short and far, far too precious.