The last school year was tough on me, but at the same time it was a period of explosive personal growth. At the beginning of the year, I took a part time job, partly to help out an old friend, partly because I wanted to be able to help out my children financially and partly because I love to teach young children and I missed it. So every morning I would head to the full time job at 6:00 AM, work my eight hours and then head to the afternoon job for 2.5 hours and then come home. I was gone from the house for 12.5 hours. I got through the first few months on pure adrenaline and organization skills. By February, I was burned out. I gave my boss notice that I wouldn’t be able to do it another year and hung on for dear life until June 14 th.
During that time, I did several online workshops: Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad helped me unpack a lot of unconscious bias. Mindset Reset by Mel Robbins taught me how to get out of my own way when it comes to reaching my personal goals. I started reading and promoting books by Native American authors. I fired my agent, sold the book of my heart, got really good at the day job, obtained a wonderful publishing mentor and survived the spring from hell which included a dead computer, dead pipes and worst of all, the passing of my beautiful niece. And that doesn’t even include children being taken away from their parents and people in concentration camps.
It was time for a physical, emotional and mental reset.
I joined a gym, reupped my meditation app which had just expired and went on a ten day road trip with my husband and dog. I’m running with my granddaughter once a week because for me, it wouldn’t be a reset without nurturing the relationships that connect me to the circle of life. (Yes, I just had an image of Lion King in my head as I typed that.) I also embarked on a 30 day food reset journey. Kind of like Whole 30, but not. No sugar, no coffee, no dairy, no processed wheat, no alcohol. Bob’s Red Mill Protein Smoothie powders to the rescue! I don’t particularly believe in cleanses, per say, I have a perfectly good liver to do that, thank you very much. I do, however, believe in changing your relationship with food and alcohol if it gets out of kilter and after last school year, everything was out of kilter.
Relationships are also coming under scrutiny… I realized that I have friends who can’t get out of their own way long enough to know what friendship is really about. As I get older, I realized that I need to strengthen those relationships that are mutually nurturing and cut those that are not out of my life.
I’m reevaluating my goals, as well. My problem is that I have too damn many and I’m at the point of my life where I need to focus. So other than the usual (relationships, job success, activism, etc), I’m focusing on my fitness and my writing. I have a lot to offer, but not if I let myself become depleted. Perhaps one of the best things I gleaned from Mindset Reset is the concept that passion is energy. Do more of what makes you feel energized. Do less of what depletes you. In the end, for many reasons, the job that I’ve had on and off the less ten years was depleting me.
Also on the docket is my relationship with my own creativity and writing. The book of my heart taught me what it’s like when you are invested with every fiber of your being in telling a story. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved telling all my stories and am proud of each of them… but there was something special about the last one… I am ready to try new things and stretch myself in creative directions. I won’t be editing other people’s work anymore. I only have enough time for my own creativity.
At any rate, I will also be blogging more again, because I really, really like it. It makes me happy and God know we could all use a little more happy.